Fair is foul and foul is fair

 This poem which is consists of lines from Shakespeare's Macbeth, uses the idea that people are not who they seem to be.

My dearest love,
Gentleman on whom I built an absolute trust
Make my seated heart knock at my ribs 
Free hearts each to other
Do I put up that womanly defence?
My dearest love promised no less
Who could refrain a heart to love?
An innocent flower that seems to speak things strange
An innocent flower shall deceive the love that follows us
His touch, false face, false heart
Sensible to feeling as to sight
A foolish thought, this noble passion
There's no such thing
Confusion now hath made his masterpiece
I am afraid to think so brainsickly of things
Come in, equivocator
There's a dagger in men's smiles
"I could play the woman with mine eyes"
The merciless, doubly redoubled, my dearest love
Could not fill up the cistern of my lust and my desire
To betray a false creation through his eyes
My dearest love confess'd and proved the name of truth
He deserves to lose, throw away the dearest thing he owed
Thy hope ends here, I know him now
False, deceitful, smacking of every sin
Tears shall drown the wind
As you have done to this.

Monologue

Nwoye speaking to Ezinma:

You just do not understand, Ezinma.  You shouldn't have come to beg me to go home.  I won't.  I cannot go back to that place.  I now belong with the missionaries here in Umuofia.  And I know you are shocked.  Me, Nwoye, a soft-hearted coward who never disobeyed anyone finally built up the courage to stand up for myself.  I have never told anyone this but growing up, I knew I was different from the other men here.  I did not act nor thought the way our father did.  In fact, I much preferred the stories mother used to tell us about animals and nature than our father's stories about blood, gore, and war.  At first, I thought this was acceptable.  I mean, what was wrong with a young boy simply being himself?  But soon, I noticed the disgust in my father's eyes as he talked about our grandfather, Unoka, who was very much as soft-hearted as I.  And then, I started to see that he looked at me the same way, and you do not have a clue how much that hurt me.  I was always afraid of making mistakes and afraid of being a disappointment.  The sadness I had stored inside kept building up with every hurtful word father said to me ...until a miracle came into our lives.  Ikemefuna became like a brother to me.  Do you remember that?  He taught me activities fit for a man as father never had the patience to.  And with my new founded interest, father finally took notice in me.  The bond between him and I grew strong and I could honestly say that I was happy again.  I remember the night he invited Ikemefuna and I into his obi and we just shared tales for hours and hours.  I would kill to live that night once again.  How could father take that away from me?  How could he let them kill Ikemefuna, a brother I never had but loved so dearly?  I cried myself to sleep many nights after, of course making sure father could not hear me.  It was always about trying to impress him and being someone I was not and I just got tired of that.  I no longer felt loved by anyone and I yearned to feel a belonging.  And I guess that is why I became a Christian.  I fit into a community without having to change the person I really am.  I know that you will never understand my motives Ezinma, but you never had father look at you with such hatred.  I have never told you this before but I truly envy you.  I miss home and sometimes I wish that I had never left our family but this fire in me that I have never felt before told me that this is the right thing to do.  I need to find the true me and to fill the curiousity I have within.  I need to know that there is another way out there in this vast world of ours and that the customs we follow with sacrifices and murder is never a solution.  Father had always thought of me as lazy but he does not know of the drive and determination I am capable of.  He does not know me and he never will because I am not going back to him Ezinma.  But don't worry, I will come back for my brothers, sisters, and my mother and I will shed the light upon you as Christianity has done to me.  As for now, you must leave as I have a church service to attend to.  Please take care of yourself and the family.  I will be seeing you soon. 

Do Not Judge a Book By the First Few Chapters

            After reading the first few chapters, I was certain that Okonkwo was a hero.  He would have been considered a great hero in the middle ages as he is strong, loyal to his clan, and proud of his achievements.  I also thought he was much like a modern day hero as well.  In his childhood, Okonkwo was given very little as his father was not a successful man.  However, Okonkwo worked hard and gained fame and fortune as he grew older.  Because of this, I found Okonkwo to be very inspirational and determined, making him a modern day hero. 
             My opinion started to change as I continued with the novel.  The man who was greatly respected by his fellow clansman was in fact not a very good man at all.  He beat his wives and children and did not feel sympathy for anyone.  Often, Okonkwo would not listen to the opinion of others and found his own to be the most important.  His own son's feelings were ridiculed just because Okonkwo did not agree with them.  Nwoye was disowned after his father became aware of his interest in Christianity.  A hero is supposed to be open-minded and listen to what others have to say.  Okonkwo kept his focus on his own achievements and reputation, and that is not what a hero does.  A hero would put others in front of their own well-being.  What destroyed Okonkwo was his need to be accepted by others.  He needed his achievements to be recognized and praised in order to keep his self-esteem high.  One of his only goals in life was to be the opposite of his father, a man who passed away without any titles.  A hero has confidence and respects himself as well as others.  This was something Okonkwo was not capable of as he often took his anger out on his wife and children. 
               With all these factors, this man is definitely not who I would consider a hero.  The ending of the novel was what made my opinion final.  Okonkwo's suicide shows that he is not as strong as others thought he was.  In fact, he is a coward.  He took his own life just because his life was not going the way he planned.  He felt betrayed because some of his clansmen decided to become Christians.  Okonkwo's burning anger got the best of him and before he took his own life, he killed an important missionary.  A hero would fight for their cause despite the obstacles that come their way.  To me, Okonkwo is not a hero as he contradicts the characteristics a hero should possess.

Liar Liar

         In the novel The Curious Incident of the Dog In the Night-time by Mark Haddon, the central conflict is between Christopher, the protagonist and his father, Ed Boone.  Ed is very protective of Christopher because he is afraid that his only son, who has Asperger's Syndome, will get hurt by others.  This results in him making up multiple white lies in order to prevent Christopher from discovering the haunting truth.  In the beginning of the novel, Christopher starts off wanting to solve the mystery of the murder of Wellington, his neighbour's dog.  He begins his investigation by asking his neighbours questions and snooping in their yards.  Christopher comes close to solving the mystery as he narrows down the possible suspects but his father tries to stop him from furthering the investigation.  Ed hides the notebook Christopher uses to record his observations and track the progress he makes with the mystery.  Also, Ed sternly tells Christopher that he must not ask anymore questions about Wellington.  Christopher disobeys his father and continues the investigation only to unravel yet another mystery.  Christopher goes into his father's room to search for his notebook and stumbles upon letters addressed to himself written by his mother.  He uncovers the truth that his father had tried so hard to hide from him.  A couple years ago, Ed informs his son that his mother had passed away from a heart attack.  However, the letters were written after her death and he soon realizes his mother had not died.  In fact, she left Ed for another man and moved to London.  This leaves Christopher hurt and confused as his father is one of the only few people he can trust.  Ed tries to explain his motive but Christopher refuses to listen.  Right when Christopher feels that nothing else can go wrong, his father also reveals that it was him who murdered Wellington.  He wonders how he can ever believe the words his father tells him again and Christopher starts to feel alone and scared.  His mind starts to churn and Christopher realizes that it is a possibility his father might try to kill him as he also killed Wellington.  With this idea in mind, Christopher decides that his only chance of survival is to secretly take a train to London and look for his mother.  The conflict between Christopher and his father is not yet resolved and it is unknown if Christopher will go through with his plan.
           This situation is easily relatable because every person in this world has told a lie in order to prevent someone else from getting hurt.  A white lie can be as shocking as the one Ed told his son or as small as telling your little sibling that the meal they cooked for you with ingredients you are afraid to know is delicious.  I believe that there are some instances in which lying is acceptable.  A few years ago a good friend gave me an item of clothing for my birthday.  It was in a colour I look horrible in and had a cut and style I would never wear.  Not wanting to hurt her feelings, I put on my brightest smile and told her I loved it.  Sometimes telling someone the truth does more bad than good.  It would only cause drama and conflict between us if I told her that her gift was not something I would wear.  She went out of her way to purchase it for me and even if it was not exactly on point, she still put a good amount of thought into it.  Ed's lie may seem unjust and he could have gone about it in a different way but it is plain to see that his only motive was to protect his beloved son.

Post-colonialism then and now

        Post-colonialism is the aftermath and result of colonialism.  It began to take place when Europeans traveled to other countries in order to gain resources.  However, they did not agree with the beliefs and traditions of these people and replaced them with what they thought was a proper lifestyle.  The Europeans felt superior to those with a different skin color and therefore, felt it was necessary for the indigenous people of these nations to learn the European way of living. 
       Many people are unaware that post-colonialism is still happening in the world.  Even though racism is greatly frowned upon, why is it that so many of us are ashamed to be in our own skin?  The media plants ideas in our minds that we have to look a certain way to be considered beautiful.  We cannot help but think that features a white female would possess, such as big colored eyes and light hair and skin, is attractive due to the commercials and ads we see everyday.  For many people, it is difficult for them to be satisfied with their appearance when there are easily accessible ways for them to completely change the way they look such as plastic surgery and whitening products.  In Japan, there is a popular trend called 'gyaru'.  There are many tutorials on Youtube of girls who show how to achieve this look and they often require countless steps in their makeup routines.  These looks include coloured contacts, which have become very popular recently.  Most girls wear blue, gray, light brown or green contacts lenses that have a wider diameter than your natural pupils; therefore, making your eyes appear larger.  The makeup gurus also show other techniques to form the illusion of doll-like eyes such as wearing false eye lashes and adding white eyeliner.  They even contour their noses with brown makeup to make them appear slimmer.  Below is an example of a gyaru makeup tutorial.

 

Will the real smart phone please stand up?

Blackberries, a smart phone created by the company RIM, has taken the world by storm recently.  Since I purchased mine last year, communicating and staying in touch with my friends has been faster and easier.  A Blackberry is like a fried banana and vanilla ice cream dish.  You do not know what you have been missing in your life until you have tried it for yourself!  Most of my friends have a Blackberry and we love them, so you will too.  If it is a phone that does not function well, it would not have become so popular; therefore, it is an excellent phone with spectacular features.  Many people who work in the business field rely on this phone.  If they do not have it, they would not be able to call or email their clients about their appointments, the meeting place and time will not be confirmed, their boss will fire them, and they will unfortunately have to resort to living in their parent's basement watching reruns of Friends.  Since the Blackberry has been created, business people have been much more successful in their careers and sales have raised a whole eight per cent.  Not to mention, Johnny Depp owns a Blackberry himself and he thinks it is a wonderful device.  Blackberries are more efficient and run faster than iPhones.  People who have iPhones and Androids use it only to jailbreak their phone and play free games.  They are dishonest and unfair human beings.  Would you rather be like them or be tech-savvy like the rest of us Blackberry owners?

Christopher Boone

Christopher Boone, a fifteen year old boy is the protagonist in my novel "The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time".  Christopher is a bright boy who also suffers from Asperger's Syndrome.  His mother passed away from a heart attack two years ago so he lives with his father in Swindon.  Swindon is a very small town and they live in a neighbourhood filled with quirky neighbours.  His father is very protective of him and does not allow him to talk to others but with Christopher's curiosity, he begins to unravel information about his mysterious neighbours.  Christopher is very clever, despite the fact that he has troubles communicating with others and understanding simple things such as human emotions.  He struggles from being unable to express his feelings in a calm manner and he will often scream, cry, or hit others to show his anger.  He is quite specific with the things he likes and likes everything to be in order.  For example, he does not "like yellow or brown things and [refuses] to touch yellow or brown things" (59).  The way his mind works, Christopher must have an order to all that he does and cannot adapt to change well.  A fact that I found interesting is that when he sees four red cars in a row one day, he declares it a good day, in which he will stay happy throughout and when he sees four yellow cars in a row, it is black day, whereby he will keep to himself and refuse to eat or talk.  Although others may find him incompetent, Christopher is an intelligent boy.  He loves science and math and observes his surroundings in a mathematical form, such as knowing how large a room is.  In this book, he shares his knowledge with us by stating facts about the Milky Way and other scientific matters.  He is very observant and notices details that others look over.

Christopher is seen as incompetent because of his disability, but little do others know that there is a smart boy hidden behind his stubborn exterior.  He wants to "prove that [he] is not stupid" (56).  This became his motivation.  Christopher wanted to be enrolled in an A Level math class but the teachers disapproved of this because they did not think he was capable.  He stayed strong and with his father's help, they finally allowed him to be in the class.  It is Christopher's dream to be an astronaut and he is confident in himself that he will one day achieve this goal.

In the beginning of the novel, it was revealed that his neighbour. Mrs, Shear's dog was murdered.  Christopher had innocently wandered into her backyard and found the poor dog, Wellington, lying down with a pitchfork extended from his body.  Soon, the police came and they assumed Christopher murdered the dog and sent him to jail.  After proving his innocence, Christopher decided that it was his mission to uncover who had killed Wellington.  Going against his father's words, he starts to sneak around his neighbourhood and interviews different people.  This novel is written by Christopher as he jots down his notes as a young detective.

Blu

"I know it's irrelevant, but rap is my profession
And just because I'm a gentleman, don't mean I'm into settling
I spend most my time on the grind, but I ain't peddling rocks
Or trying to sign to the rock, I'm trying to meddle in my own business
So tell your girls mind they own business
And I would give you my digits but see my phone isn't 
Excepting calls until the bills get paid
Now you say you want the real but it's the real I'm saying, so what's the deal?"
- Blu, First Things First

Below is my poem dedicated to my favourite hip-hop artist, Johnson Barnes, more commonly known as Blu.  His songs are just phenomenal and I guarantee if you give them a listen, you will be wondering where he has been all your life.  The phrases in quotations in my poem are names of Blu's songs except for "Therapy" by T-Pain.

Your flow is so smooth, my heart melts like butter
When I swallow your rhymes, my mind lifts from the gutter
With the bass in the background, it dances with your words
They are so elaborately threaded, the components of your verse
Salmon sashimi, incomparably unique and raw
Every beat goes hand in hand, I can't find a single flaw
When I close my eyes and listen, your lyrics keep me sane
My remedy, my "Therapy", and I'm not talking about T-Pain
If I can compare the feeling, it would be like "Dancing In the Rain"
As indescribable as endorphins being released from my brain
When it's me myself and your music, "My World Is" at peace
My mind enters serenity and I can feel my stress decrease
Every song has so much depth, I discover treasures in the hole
You speak from the heart and pour out your whole soul
It's like I have a piece of you and felt all you've been through
And understand every imagery, your views are so real, Blu
If only I had the ability to see life in your eyes
I can filter the nonsense and disregard all the lies
You preach not of material, but the beauty of life
The struggles you've faced and the conquering of strife
Down to earth, you don't revolve around money, sex and cars
Contradictory, you're beyond that, I could find you among stars
"Simply Amazing", I hear the heart of the one who sings
The passion embedded and the love it brings
I don't call this lust, I'm just deeply inspired
Sadly my chances are low when you're so widely desired
And if you have a type, I'm certain I won't fit the list
I'm ten years younger and you don't even know I exist
But age does not matter when I'm in love with your mind
I don't mean to be fan girl, but will you be my valentine?

"The Beauty Within"

Referring to my previous post, I would just like to say that I was not writing in my own perspective.  For our narrative essay, we were to write about challenges we've had with ourselves.  I thought the topic of 'body image' was easy to expand upon since it was broad instead of writing about small specific struggles I had personally faced.  Exaggeration was allowed as long as I wrote in a first person context.  So my point is, don't worry I don't starve myself or anything.  I have many insecurities but weight is definitely not one of them.  I love food too much and eat at a turbo rate non-stop.

The Beauty Within

         Sometimes in life, the greatest struggle we must overcome is with ourselves.  The challenge I faced last year taught me a lot about myself and it tested the strength I had within.  As a typical teenage girl, I had many insecurities, especially with my body image.  My self-esteem fell low due to the lack of confidence in myself.  Growing up, I had a perception of what beauty was and I felt that I was the opposite of that.  However, to face this struggle, I realized that in order to be happy, I must be comfortable in my own skin.
        The scorching sun glared down, casting a layer of heat over the vibrant striped patio furniture.  My classmates' laughter and chatter filled my ears as I walked through the gate of Pauly's backyard.  It was only the middle of May but everyone from school already came to conclusion that this was going to be the party of the year.  I had anticipated this day since Pauly invited me last month.  As I can recall, I had to lean against my locker to keep from collapsing as I took the invitation from Pauly with quivering hands.  His blond ruffled hair that fell right above his eyebrows, his defined jaw line, and the row of white pearls he flashed at me on occasion were all factors that made me swoon at the thought of him.  Every time he walked past me in the hallways, I would watch his glowing aura in awe as my heart melted and my stomach fluttered.  I was still in shock as to why a boy classified as perfect would invite a girl like me.  A cold splash of water interrupted my trail of thought as someone jumped into the pool.  I quickly looked around for a place to fit in with my outgoing classmates but none was to be found.  I have always had a timid personality and it was not easy to communicate with those I did not feel comfortable with.  Looking over to the corner beside a ratty blue shed, I noticed Pauly's father cooking on the barbecue.  I held my bright pink towel against my body and quickly walked over to grab a freshly grilled hot dog.  From the corner of my eye, I noticed a figure jogging towards me and I turned around to face Pauly's award-winning infamous grin.  Before I could sheepishly mutter a greeting, his next words made my heart fall to the pit of my stomach.
         "Slow down there, turbo.  My dad did not buy enough hot dogs to fill that stomach of yours.  I'm glad you came though."
        With his smile still glued to his face, he did not realize how much his biting words hurt me.  The corner of my mouth twitched as I smiled with hesitance.  I fought hard to hold back the tears that were forcing themselves to the brim of my eyes.  I had never been comfortable with my weight, but it never occurred to me that this boy who had captured my heart would be capable of surfacing such a big insecurity.  For the duration of the party, I sat alone on an uncomfortable wooden chair by the gate, trying not to think about Pauly's words nor my growling stomach.
        My lifestyle had changed dramatically during the next month.  I denied dinner invitations and any other events that required me to eat in front of others.  Not even my best friend, Elle noticed that I was starting to eat less and less.  I occupied myself at home with chores so I would not have the urge to eat a snack before dinner.  I would lie to my parents that I had already eaten so I would be given a smaller portion for dinner.  I had let the idea of losing weight take over me.  Everything I did during that month was revolved around me controlling my eating habits.  All I wanted was for Pauly to compliment me on my new size.  I started to feel like a whole different person and I could not recognize the haunting image I would see in my mirror.  Even though I was losing weight, I felt beaten down and tired every day from the lack of food I was consuming.  Most of my friends had gotten tired of trying to spend time with me.  They even stopped bothering to associate with me.  Most, except Elle.  She came to my house a few times a week with a movie or some magazines.  One day, she came without either of them.
        Elle and I sat cross legged in front of one another on my bed.  I couldn't look her in the eyes but she was staring at me intently.  I could tell she knew about my changes by the way she was carefully choosing her words.  Then I broke down.  I confessed the sickening thoughts that had resided in my mind for the past month.  I spilled the harsh words I would tell myself whenever I was tempted to eat more than I had intended.  She told me that she was going to be right by my side throughout all my challenges.  I appreciated this; however, I knew that the only person who could truly help me get my life back on track, was myself.
      The following day, I felt sick to my stomach as my mind churned, thinking of how I let a comment made by an ignorant boy control my life.  It was time for my own mind to lead once again.
       Reflecting upon that depressing month made me realize the effect criticism can have on my life.  In order to prevent this from happening again, I needed to have more confidence in myself.  Society shows an image of how they perceive beauty and a lot of women think they must look a certain way in order to be considered as beautiful.  However, with this experience, I learned that beauty comes in all sizes.  I had a lot of trouble coming to this conclusion because I did not believe in myself.  Overcoming my insecurities allowed me to see myself in a different light.   No matter how difficult the challenge is, we must face it, even if it is with ourselves.